When my name was called as the winner of the raffle prize at SOS Silence of Suicide’s Annual Remembrance Evening, I felt a strange mix of surprise and gratitude.

As the days passed and I prepared for my stay at ‘Yr Hafan in Solva, Pembrokeshire’, I began to realise just how much this journey would mean to me.

Many years ago, I lost my partner to suicide. It left a deep-seated grief that, although softened by time, had never truly left.

Even though life moved forward, I found love again, built a family, and embraced happiness, the weight of grief and guilt, and the sting of social stigma that came with losing someone this way, shaped me more than I care to admit.

Time may have dulled its sharpness, but that sadness and sense of isolation remained tucked away, rarely spoken of. The sense of guilt, once overpowering, has softened over time, and I was glad that on the Annual Remembrance Evening this resonated with some of the survivors.

Staying at Yr Hafan, a beautiful, peaceful haven perched above the Pembrokeshire coastline, allowed me to slow down and face those feelings in a way I hadn’t been able to before. The sound of the ocean, the quiet hills, and skies that seemed to stretch forever gave me permission to breathe. Surrounded by my family, I was able to reflect, to appreciate their warmth and support, and to gently let go of some of that pain.

I finally felt brave enough to say goodbye properly.

Being part of SOS’s Annual Remembrance Evening had already shown me the gentle power of creating safe spaces for conversations that so often go unsaid: talking truly does help. Understanding really does heal. Perspectives become more relevant when we allow ourselves the time and compassion to embrace it. I am profoundly grateful to SOS and the sponsors who donated such a thoughtful, generous gift.

And I am thankful to the wild beauty of Pembrokeshire for its embrace. My stay was more than just a holiday; it was a gentle reminder that my grief can coexist with my happiness, that having your loved ones around you is often understated and underappreciated. I finally understand now that my loss can live alongside my love, and that healing is always possible, one heartfelt moment at a time.